Sometimes people, often completely outsiders, believe that they know very well how you need to live, where to work, with whom to connect their fate, when and how to give birth and educate children ..
Many people like to give advice. Indeed, having expressed in passing a couple of smart (or not) thoughts, it is so easy to consider yourself more experienced, wise and knowledgeable than the interlocutor. This increases self -esteem and gives the adviser a sense of his own significance. So the motives of such uninvited recommendations are understandable.
How to behave with those who teach you to live
But what to do to whom these tips are addressed? Of course, the advice is sensible, and he can be followed. Sometimes it’s enough to laugh it off or simply not pay attention to quadrel moralizing. But if the advice is given by a person close to you, for example, mom? Or advice-recommendation sounds from the lips of the boss and concerns your work? Just dismissing and not taking the words of such people in the calculation will no longer be possible.
How to act in such cases?
Thank and do it in your own way
Often it is more important for an adviser to speak out than to ensure that you follow his recommendations. Moreover, he will not control how accurately you followed his instructions.
How to behave with those who teach you to live
If you feel that this is a council of this kind as sincerely thank a person as sincerely, promise to think over everything and … do it as you consider it necessary. As a result, both you and your interlocutor will remain completely satisfied with each other, and there will be no reason for the dispute.
Try to agree
If your further interaction with the adviser is important for you or inevitably, you can try to agree. This method is good for colleagues, which, for example, has to work together on any project or for older relatives living with you.
Listen carefully everything that they want to tell you and promise to think for a while, and then tell you that you came to the conclusion that it would be better to make this and that and that. Give convincing arguments in favor of your position, follow the opinion of specialists, if necessary. As a rule, in such situations, it is important for the adviser not so much to insist on your version of actions as to be heard. And, showing respect for his opinion, you can agree with him about a compromise version.
Calmly and firmly “close the topic”
This method works when a person is clearly trying to “help” you to solve the issues outside the sphere of his competence. For example, a friend begins to express her opinion about your young man. In this case, it is worth saying that you appreciate the opinion of the adviser, but you prefer to figure out everything yourself.
How to behave with those who teach you to live
If something is advised by a person who is close to you, then sometimes it is enough to put an end in a conversation with a phrase like “I already decided everything” or “the conversation is over!»Not always, but in some cases it works.
Minimize communication
If your environment has a person who loves to give advice for any reason, and you know about this habit, try to communicate less with him. You should not share your family and production problems with such an “expert”, generally try to talk less about yourself and your affairs in his presence.
Of course, it is unlikely that it will be possible to solve the situation in this way, if the adviser is one of the relatives living with you. In this case, it is worth trying all the methods listed above, as well as think about how to find a separate housing in which no one will bother you.
How to behave with those who teach you to live
And finally, do not forget that your tips may also seem to someone not quite appropriate or not too competent. Wait when the interlocutor himself will take an interest in your opinion and then, perhaps, your advice will be accepted with gratitude.
